The Guide

Most women already know that they are beautiful. They know that it draws men in and they know that men can get overly focused on their looks. But if you really want to turn a woman on you need to prove to her that you are drawn in by her personality. Especially if you are… Read more: How to love her personality

There are different philosophies when it comes to finding love. When the subject of dating is brought up many people will say that you should just “let it happen naturally”. Pickup runs counter to this philosophy because it is about taking direct action to find love. This presents certain challenges but also gives the pickup… Read more: Should you wait for love?

One key principle when speaking with women in a romantic capacity is to practice patience. For example, once you get a girl’s number it can be tempting to text her and ask for a date immediately. This is a mistake. You should text her and say hello so that she knows it’s your number but… Read more: Once you get her number

I don’t talk to girls passing me going opposite direction of me. If a girl is walking the other way then she is by definition heading in a different direction in her life. So you would not match.

Women value emotional relationships versus men who value physical intimacy. So, some women can make love to lots of men and separate sex and relationships into two different things. That’s harder for men because we tie sex to a commit. We think that sex means a woman is committed to us. Don’t assume that is… Read more: Open relationships

I know that this fear holds a lot of us men back. Society is critical of us all and men experience that criticism sometimes as an internal voice. You may worry that you have lost your temper too many times to be loveable. That is of course a lie and one good part of the… Read more: Am I too broken?

Friends never leave It’s good for you trust me. You shouldn’t sleep with every girl some should just be your buddies. I have women who have asked me if I will have sex with them and I immediately say no. Then I explain that I love her on a deeper level. Friends never leave. Lovers… Read more: Make more female friends

I’ll build on this in time but my advice is to accept her as just your friend and ask her to be your wing woman when you do pickup. I’ll go deeper in time but this approach has two benefits: But if you are in the friendzone I highly recommend just moving on to a… Read more: My advice on the friendzone

Women are, by far, attracted to and affected by the words a man says more than anything else. That is not to say you can get away without showering, but you should focus energy on developing your speechcraft before you waste time obsessing over your height. I have spent many hours reading and writing in… Read more: Speechcraft

You should get good at Mario Kart. Girls always want to come over and play it if they like you. It’s an easy way to ask for sex without being too obvious and has the advantage of being something you do together instead of something you stare at together. Mario Kart also has a high… Read more: Mario Kart and chill

Let’s break those down Indepence Also called non-neediness, this is the fundamental core of an attractive man. A man who is dependent can only be seen by a woman as a child in need of caretaking. Independence is hard and in truth you will never be fully independent. If you were fully independent you would… Read more: What makes a man attractive?

So the song above is one of my favorites. It’s a hilarious song about a man lamenting that although most women aren’t attracted to him a few women become obsessed with him. That’s what a pickup artist should be. You shouldn’t be going out with every girl you talk to. If you are trying to… Read more: Be a cult boyfriend

My goal with pickup has never been quick sex although I have had some. The end game for me is to use pickup to find the most attractive long-term female partner I can. But ultimately I am more drawn to women for the sake of connection than for sexual pleasure. So a lot of my… Read more: The joy of deep connection

Pickup (and dating in general) is very much a patience game. At the individual level of a one-night stand you aren’t practicing much patience but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the years of self-development that lead up to being able to pickup a girl for one night only of sex. So,… Read more: Patience and consistency

Ladies love it. Learning how to make good eye contact with a woman may in fact be one of the most attractive skills you can learn. Why is eye contact so crucial to a woman? It’s because when you are looking a woman in the eyes she knows she has your full attention. By looking… Read more: Eye contact

In many cases dating is not done out of a desire to meet a certain type of person but rather as a way to escape the pain of loneliness. This is understandable because human connection is a need and you really can’t get away from it. But you also can’t get away from the need… Read more: Why do we fear loneliness?

These are organized by context. Gym Museum Park Bookstore Comic Con Renaissance Fair Party with friends Library

Neediness is one of the most unattractive traits an individual can possess. This is true not only in dating but in other relationships as well. Employees with little leverage often find themselves in a very needy position allowing their employers to exploit them. Men who have no idea what to do if their wife left… Read more: Neediness and you – Inner Game 2

The inherit risk and challenge of pickup is that you are talking to strangers. In many ways pickup is a trust building exercise. So, it’s crucial that you develop an ethical set of principles that guide your treatment of women. In addition, you must always be aware of the safety aspect. Although you may think… Read more: Ethics and safety in pickup

Other men who notice that you have pickup talent will immediately seek to disrupt you. It’s a jealousy thing. When a man sees you approach a woman confidently, they are challenged at a fundamental level. Most men don’t have the courage to talk to women they like and so they end up hating those men… Read more: Other men and how to avoid them

It’s all too easy to harbor negative views of the opposite sex. This is especially true if you’ve experienced a lot of rejection or have been hurt by a member of the opposite sex. In addition, humans bring their existing biases into every relationship. If you had an abusive mother for example you will struggle… Read more: Cultivating healthy views of women

Why are breakups so painful and challenging? I believe that it comes from our disappoint regarding the future plans made with the ex-partner in question. In addition, breakups force you to reckon with yourself because you have more time to yourself. I have been going through a breakup recently and I know that these same… Read more: Breaking up

As a follow-up to my last article on Tinder, I wanted to give some more practical advice on how to improve your ELO score and the ranking of your profile. I have been working on this particular challenge throughout the past five or so years as I’ve done several touch-and-goes with Tinder. I wanted to write this article… Read more: The Tinder advice you do want to hear

Many young people in my age cohort are quite familiar with online dating. Despite it becoming more commonplace, the use of Apps to find partners is still a fascinating phenomenon. It exposes many aspects of the human psyche that are usually elided. More to the point, Tinder is a highly emotionally exciting piece of software.… Read more: The Tinder advice you don’t want to hear

Dating has a pattern. You may have noticed it. You meet someone you like and you get to know her, then you either go further with the romance or you don’t. Often times the issue is simply talking to enough people to meet a woman who clicks with you. That’s hard. The Binomial distribution gives… Read more: The binomial distribution in dating

So you want to become a pickup artist. Fair enough, you’ve made a good choice. The pickup artist doesn’t have to waste time on Tinder hoping to be noticed. The pickup artist doesn’t waste time trying to go to sports events or clubs hoping to run into a beautiful single girl. Learning pickup is all… Read more: Pickup 101

This post is organized by physical context (Comic Con, Public Park, Store, etc.) Hopefully each example helps you do better pickup in that context. Comic Cons Some good lines for Comic Cons are “I love your outfit! How long did it take to make?” “I like that video game too how many hours do you… Read more: Basic pickup approaches

Legend In this post words you say are highlighted in Blue and words she says are in Red This is my most common pickup line. It’s probably the easiest one in the world and I recommend it to those just starting out with pickup. It’s great for a few reasons: There are lots of good… Read more: Case study “What are you reading?”

it isn’t my responsibility to meet her emotional and social needs if she can’t meet my sexual needs. So a big part of why I am creating this website is because I am leaving a partner (let’s call her H – not her real initial of course) who I have fallen out of love with.… Read more: Always be able to leave

The map (also embedded at the bottom of this page) is a key resource this site provides for those who live in the DC, Maryland and Virginia area. These are places I’ve vetted myself, they are all public areas with a high population of beautiful women available to be talked to. For those who do… Read more: How to use the map

Dating in general is an exercise in growing up and maturing as an adult. As you become more aware of who you are and more confident you will become more attractive. So how do you build confidence with women if you have not had success with them in your life? If you are used to… Read more: Confidence – Inner Game 1