There are different philosophies when it comes to finding love. When the subject of dating is brought up many people will say that you should just “let it happen naturally”. Pickup runs counter to this philosophy because it is about taking direct action to find love. This presents certain challenges but also gives the pickup artist a lot of advantages that the wait for love approach doesn’t afford.
Dating is still difficult regardless of your approach but the idea that you can simply wait around for love is a poor approach for several reasons. You could be waiting years to find someone and the odds of finding someone only decreases as you age. If you expect to meet a lover through your friend group you need to have a very big friend group. If your friend group is all men then you are out of luck and are likely surrounded by other single men who don’t know where to find a woman.
What most people are referring to when they inadvertently reference the wait for love approach is some sort of chance encounter at an event like a rave or festival. But these aren’t really chance encounters in the sense they are “meant to be” because someone (either the man or woman) still needs to start up a conversation and show interest in the relationship. In this way, the leader of the relationship is still using the principles of pickup whether or not they know it.
The other option is to start off as friends with a woman and then move on to a relationship but this approach is also flawed. This does work for some men but many others will run into one of the following issues. Men are attracted visually to women so it can be hard to meet a woman and not want something more than friendship from the start. If you are able to simply be friends with her you might end up in her friendzone (this depends on your relationship with her and the dynamics thereof.) And if this is your strategy then you might be waiting a very long time – several years at least.
Pickup turns the table and allows you to bring the statistical advantage home to you. It allows you to move from waiting around for your needs to be met to actively finding a way to meet your needs. If you have a certain type of girl in mind – whether in terms of looks or personality – you can focus on picking up that sort of girl and thereby find your dream girl much easier and faster, allowing you to enjoy more years together than if you had waited to meet her.
Maybe the second hardest part of pickup is acknowledging that you want love and are ready to work to find it. There is a certain faux-nonchalance that is employed when people talk about how happy they are single. There are many who are content being alone but that is not the majority of singletons. Most people who are single would prefer to be in a healthy, fun relationship to being single. Having a partner meets a need for closeness, attention, and companionship that we all have. Many chronically single people have simply suppressed their desire for a partner because they feel unable to find one they can enjoy.
So, before you can commit yourself to the difficult practice of pickup you have to accept that you are a needy individual. You have to accept that you are in need of love and affection and that you are willing to work for it. You have to accept that love will only come with effort and work. You must rid yourself of the delusion that someone special is going to magically fall into your lap and get to the hard effort of finding love.
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