I know that this fear holds a lot of us men back. Society is critical of us all and men experience that criticism sometimes as an internal voice. You may worry that you have lost your temper too many times to be loveable. That is of course a lie and one good part of the 21st century century is the relatively easy access to mental health services. To further that point, I recommend that if you are having issues with women you consider seeing a therapist.
I am NOT a doctor so take what I say as a retelling of my own experiences.
It is true that ADHD can lead to neediness. I noticed a difference in my ability to pickup girls before, during, and after I was on Adderall. Adderall boosts your confidence and it allows you to make eye contact more easily and to speak more peacefully. By having the focus to achieve your goals Adderall helps you find peace. Getting your ADHD in order could help you finally start writing that book you have always wanted to.
I ended up quitting Adderall but I still use running because I know how much exercise builds confidence. As you build an exercise habit you can guarantee a boost in self-confidence.