The inherit risk and challenge of pickup is that you are talking to strangers. In many ways pickup is a trust building exercise. So, it’s crucial that you develop an ethical set of principles that guide your treatment of women. In addition, you must always be aware of the safety aspect. Although you may think small women are harmless, they are certainly capable of stealing your wallet after a one-night stand. So, this article will focus on my personal ethical code of pickup and how I ensure that I stay safe and that the women I speak to feel safe.
Ethical pickup
Effective pickup is, in essence, the art of exploring new potential partners through spontaneous conversation, and using that conversation to determine level of emotional and/or physical compatibility. Ethics come into play in several specific areas of pickup:
- Assessing whether an approach is respectful in light of the situational context
- Assessing a woman’s level of neediness
- Ability to immediately cease pickup and leave once a clear rejection is communicated.
Details for each are below.
1 – Assess the Context
This one is obvious in certain circumstances but not always. The basic principle being that you ought to consider carefully if a woman is in the right state of mind. For example, I don’t talk to girls who are clearly working deeply on their computers. Because I hate being interrupted in that scenario. Books are more easily recovered from after an interruption so I do talk to reading girls a lot. The point here is that if a woman has to get something done she is less likely to want to flirt anyways.
2 – Level of Neediness
Some women will sleep/go out with a guy just because they are lonely and needy. That’s not necessarily bad at all. But if you just want a one-night stand it’s cruel of you to promise her anything more. If you sense that a woman is needy it might be best to leave for her sake. Don’t be that guy who screws girls and then leaves them crying. Those guys suck.
3 – Leave immediately if rejected
This seems obvious but there’s a weird tendency to linger for a bit longer if only because it feels awkward to stand up and walk away after a girl says no. You just have to train yourself to say “Thank you have a nice day”.
Safety
Women clearly have the greater safety concern than men when it comes to pickup. In fact, most rejections you get are likely because that women simple doesn’t feel comfortable with pickup. That’s not your fault. The best thing you can do is to look sharp and clean and act like a well-rounded adult. That sort of healthy behavior helps a woman begin to trust you. On your end, you need to think about sexually transmitted diseases. If you are only doing a one-night stand wear a condom.
These are some general guidelines but remember, pickup is not a game you are meeting real humans who need care and respect first.
Leave a Reply