Why are breakups so painful and challenging? I believe that it comes from our disappoint regarding the future plans made with the ex-partner in question. In addition, breakups force you to reckon with yourself because you have more time to yourself. I have been going through a breakup recently and I know that these same issues are affecting me. A big part of the reason I built this website was to convince myself that there were other women in my area.
I needed that. All too often men become trapped in a relationship because they don’t believe that they could find a woman outside of the relationship. The saddest part is that once a man is in this situation, the woman he is with will lose respect for him because she knows he doesn’t have sexual options. On the other hand, leaving that woman to go explore more sexual options will make you irresistibly attractive to any woman. I’ll explain in the form of a short example.
When I was breaking up with my most recent partner, we reached a point in the conversation that went as such.
Me: “I’m happy to be friends but I can’t date you any more”
Her: “Ok then we’re done here”
Me: <I walk up and leave>
Her: “No don’t go please!”
Clearly, the only way this woman will learn how to value the next man who comes into her life is if I leave her. There is a reason why her attraction to me increased so much when I started to walk away: women want men who don’t need those same women.
women want men who don’t need those same women.
It’s a weird thing but it’s true.
So why did I break up with this person? We only had sex a handful of times during 9 months of dating. Once I reached that 9 month mark I realized that I was never going to be satisfied with this woman. Oddly, I had brought this up to her before and proposed that we just be friends. She vehemently opposed the idea of being just friends. But in the end, that is what I will need to do. I refuse to pretend that she’s my girlfriend when we aren’t having sex.
It’s strange – I’m having trouble getting out of the “boyfriend zone”. Literally. This girl doesn’t want to break up but she also doesn’t try to meet my sexual needs. So, I need to set a boundary and make sure we remain only friends so that I can go out and meet women who do want to have sex with me.
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