Confidence – Inner Game 1

Dating in general is an exercise in growing up and maturing as an adult. As you become more aware of who you are and more confident you will become more attractive. So how do you build confidence with women if you have not had success with them in your life? If you are used to being rejected how do you still believe in yourself? The answer is that you need to accomplish other things.

Confidence comes from the core of the spine so it is natural to push out your chest but confidence doesn’t come from pushing your chest out and acting tough and big. It comes from seeing yourself overcome difficult life situations or challenges. Learning pickup is only one such difficult life situation. So, if you need to build your confidence, choose something hard to accomplish. It doesn’t matter if it’s hard on a physical or mental level, or even a spiritual one.

You must take some time to find yourself – you have to actually be confident in yourself as a person and you need to let go of what others think. You may think you are nothing now but once you accept that you are strong in your own ways and it does not matter what others thinks you will know the secret. Here are a few examples to help you get started.

• Running – For whatever reason other exercises aren’t as good for me. When I see myself run a 9 or 10 minute mile, I feel confident because I’m watching myself grow as a runner.
• Coding – I’m a software engineer. I feel confident after I’ve spent 8 hours learning a new coding language.
• Friends – I feel confidence when I spend time with friends. They love me as I am and that helps me love myself as I am.
• Financial challenges – overcoming debts, learning to earn more money, etc., all of these build mental toughness.
• Meditation – by going into the darkest corners of your own mind, you grow as a man.
• Serve your community – Make a commitment to volunteer somewhere in your town. Let service to others be your challenge.

The point I’m trying to make is that anyone can do this. You don’t have to be a confident guy right now. You just have to pick some hard things to do with yourself. It will take time. Probably years. But if you consistently do difficult things you will become mentally and physically strong. And this will make you more attractive.

The other thing that helps with confidence is facing and then working through rejection. Learning how to not take rejection personally is a huge part of becoming a real man. Women can’t stand boys who get upset that she said no. Just say “thank you for your time I hope you have a good day” and walk away. The more you get rejected, the more you become insensitive and unafraid of rejection. That fearlessness is hot to women. So just keep getting rejected and in time you will gain more confidence.