it isn’t my responsibility to meet her emotional and social needs if she can’t meet my sexual needs.
So a big part of why I am creating this website is because I am leaving a partner (let’s call her H – not her real initial of course) who I have fallen out of love with. We are currently breaking up and for me pickup is therapy. It reminds me that I don’t have to stay with this girl. Why am I leaving? I’m in a sexless relationship. I’ve been seeing this girl for 9 months and we’ve never had sex more than a hand job, which she’s only given me about 4 times in those 9 months. I thought I was a pig for leaving but now I realize I’m just being honest with myself.
I’m writing this website to show myself that I can find someone new. I don’t want to live in fear of being alone. So many men end up in sexless relationships because they don’t have any options. If a mentally unhealthy woman thinks you don’t have options she begins to stop wanting you sexually. It’s sad but true, when you start leaving or proving that you have other sexual options women start to care more about you.
As an example of this, when I broke up with H, we got to a point in the conversation where she said “Ok well in that case we’re done”. And I just walked up and left. She yelled “no wait” and then continued to plea her case. I felt sorry for her. She is scared of being alone. I understand but I had to accept that it isn’t my responsibility to meet her emotional and social needs if she can’t meet my sexual needs.
What does this tell us about the nature of love? It’s hard to say. I know a lot of couples who are happily married and have been for years. Maybe those men have decided they want love and a permanent partner more than sex? Maybe they have a healthy relationship with masturbation or simply a lower sex drive to start. I’m not sure, I’ve never been married and now I’m much less interested seeing how H acted.
But as I let go of my now ex-girlfriend I am beginning to reevaluate my expectations for love. I don’t know if I intend to be with anyone for more than 5 years. I enjoy one night stands but they aren’t my goal. My goal is to find the most beautiful girl I can using pickup and marry her. I want love and not just sex. If I wanted only sex I could use porn and forget about women. But if you’re reading I assume that you too have learned that porn isn’t a replacement for a true companion and lover.
So, with H out of the way let’s talk about the concept of walking away in general. From what I have experienced with female psychology, the following patterns tend to emerge. Take these with a grain of salt, every girl is a human and will be unique. But in general, women tend to follow certain behavioral patterns just like men.
That being said, it is my belief that women need men who are able to leave. They need them on a physical level. This is because you are demonstrating non-neediness. You are becoming the ultimate leader to her by showing her that you are able to go off alone and leave her to be on her own. You are showing her that you won’t follow her around like a puppy dog or a child. This sort of non-needy behavior is irresistible to women.
Why is that? Evolution. The men who were non-needy in ancient times were not going to be a drain on women. My theory is that initially it was a physical and nutritional non-neediness. The strongest men could find their own food and didn’t need to rely on anyone else. This probably evolved alongside our language and social skills so that today the need for emotional independence in mates is intertwined with the need for our mates to be financially independent.
Pickup is a tool for becoming a non-needy man. If you can become a skilled pickup artist then no one woman can control you or manipulate you. I don’t believe that women intentionally manipulate men, but if you put her in a position where you need her then she is going to be turned off on an instinctual level. I haven’t squared this truth with marriage in my head because it creates a paradox: married men don’t get sex but the woman knows she has him forever. So she has control over his sex life and she will use that control even though she doesn’t mean to.
Most women are not manipulators. But put yourself in her shoes. Would it be that bad if you asked your boyfriend to do the dishes before you let him have sex with you? No, that honestly doesn’t sound bad at all. But it’s a slippery slope from dishes before sex to her holding out for months of no sex because of some unknown reason. You can see how this sort of marriage dynamic is hard for a sexually driven and highly libidic man.
I’m starting to believe, therefore, that remaining single is in fact the best way to live my life. I still need love and sex and so I must learn how to have short term relationships and casual sex using pickup. Although improving my pickup game will be hard, if I am able to do it I will be able to never be needy. So, I will study pickup for my whole life. And I’ll probably be one of those 50 something dating a 20 something instead of settling down with my sweetheart. There’s a tradeoff there, if I stay a bachelor I can sleep with many women even as I get older. But If I settle down I can love one woman more deeply. Not an easy choice.
I don’t want to discount the value of love and long term faithfulness. Frankly, I’ve never experienced anything more than a 9 month relationship. But, I think it is foolish to believe that marriage is the only way to live. I am not a failure if I never marry. You are not a failure if you never marry. If we so choose, pickup gives us the opportunity to remain bachelors and remain in control of meeting our sexual needs on our terms.
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